


Asexuality Sketch

by anxiousalice



Series: Asexuality Sketches [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Loki (Marvel), Asexuality, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Good Loki (Marvel), Good Thing They Can Hug Each Other, Homophobia, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Racism, Self-Exploration, Speciesism, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22428310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiousalice/pseuds/anxiousalice
Summary: Loki does not know a lot about himself. He does know that he is asexual. He is worried that Tony will find out.Tony may be a jerk, but he is not a complete ass, though.(Or - a sketchy story about Loki and Tony loving each other despite their problems and those of others).
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Series: Asexuality Sketches [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615399
Comments: 13
Kudos: 153





	Asexuality Sketch

When Loki had to join the Avengers, he did not tell them about Thanos. Tony had a good guess why: Loki had immense trust issues. It took them becoming close, Loki learning about Tony’s nightmares, and Loki suffering in secret for months before he managed to confess the tortured thing.

There was a trial. There was an acquittal. There was the worry that Loki would leave.

Loki stayed. 

Loki, as it turned out, was in love with Tony, and he finally felt that he could confess it as well. 

Loki was the most tender lover Tony has ever met. He would hold Tony close, kiss his face, whisper compliments and sweet nothings, bring Tony food during his science binges, even wash him on a good day.  
(On Tony’s good day. When Tony was not likely to freak out.)  
Loki was incredibly tender and caring.

Loki also had a boatload of problems, and Agard was fucked up, and Tony was going crazy with sexual tension. 

No, Loki was perfectly willing to sleep with Tony. The problem was, Asgard really wanted to insert itself into their relationship. When they first attempted to have sex, Loki was stiff and quiet. Tony, naturally, could not do that, not like that. It took way too much careful prodding to get Loki to admit – he was worried.  
(Which, in Lokispeak, meant – he was scared.)

Apparently, sleeping with a guy was a big no-no, but in a way that was, well, weird. For one, sleeping with a guy was even cool as long as you were on top. The Allfather apparently had an official ergi lover for that exact purpose (wasn’t the guy married?). That said, bottoming meant relinquishing manhood or something. Basically, it was really bad, and Loki was gearing himself up for that.

Tony would be angry if he wasn’t too confused. He offered Loki to bottom, which caused an intense reaction, nearly a breakdown. Loki did not want to unman him. Loki would not unman him, Loki loved him! 

Tony tried not to let it sting that Loki, apparently, thought that Tony did not love him.  
(He failed.)  
This whole discussion and especially Loki’s horror at the idea of unmanning really put a damper on things. Tony felt… really shitty. He may have said things he should not have. They kinda parted on bad terms.

Loki was the first one to come to apologize. It was clear that he did not quite get what was wrong. The feeling was slightly surreal as Tony had to explain that he could not unman Loki if it caused him such fear and that he loved Loki too, and that the whole situation was pretty horrible. 

That was how Tony found out that Loki was not an Asir.  
(And that he, Tony, truly hated Asgard.)

This is how it went. 

“I am not a man, Tony,” Loki said, looking away, “you cannot unman me.”

“Uh, what?” Tony tried to wrack his brain for any scrap of information about trans people, feeling very shitty that he did not know much. “Like…”

“Jotunn,” said Loki, closing his eyes in apparent pain. “I am a Jotunn.”

For a while, Tony hoped that it was Asgard’s term for trans people.  
(It was not.)

Things got better after that – Loki’s trust issues especially. Apparently, Tony not caring that Loki was a blue alien instead of a pale alien was a big deal.  
(What did he think of, of course, it was a big deal. Just not in the way Loki thought.)

Tony hated Asgard.  
(Ass-gard. That’s what he was officially calling it from now on.)

They also talked a bit about trans people. Loki found the term NB fitting at first, but after a while decided that he was genderfluid. Tony brushed up on his knowledge. Loki showed his female form and started presenting like that when he felt like it.

He also started wearing nail polish in all his forms. He liked black, green, and golden, and on very good days, he would combine all three, always painting his middle fingernail green. 

Things were getting better. 

Tony was genuinely considering therapy for both of them. He did not feel like he was doing a good enough job – or that he could do a good enough job – given that he was a fuck-up and his boyfriend was a genderfluid alien from Homophobialand. He was not one of those suckers who thought that love could fix everything. In fact, he was pretty sure that therapy would do both of them good.  
(Especially since the dreams were getting worse, and science binges weren’t helping.)

One more thing that was not helping was the lack of sex. 

Tony was not a complete ass, he would not tell Loki that, but it was kinda driving him mad. Loki kept being the caring boyfriend (or girlfriend), secure and gentle, but sex was not happening. In any form. While Tony tired to explain that sex did not have to involve bottoming and could just come down to mutual masturbation, Loki seemed unconvinced. He was also perfectly ready to “submit to Tony’s desires” –  
(For fuck’s sake!)  
He or she was ready to submit to Tony’s desires at any time. 

Like mentioned, Tony was not a complete ass. A jerk, sure, but not a complete ass. 

Besides, Loki never looked interested.  
(That was kinda sad.)

Surprisingly, it took him way too long to attribute that to anything other than himself. Of course, he would expect the world to revolve around himself, but, no, no. It was simultaneously simpler and much more complicated.

That’s how it went.

“Do you think you might be asexual?” Tony asked during another cuddling session. Loki tensed, and his face was wiped clean of any emotions.

Tony knew that face.

“You do, don’t you?” Tony asked.

Loki remained silent.

Tony tugged him closer and kissed his cheek.  
(He was reasonably sure that Loki was comfortable with that. Even though they needed to have the discussion now.)

“Gotta research that,” he said. “You are really good for me. Getting me up to date on all the most important stuff.”

Loki was still tense, but his mask cracked a bit, revealing some hope. Tony felt proud for a second. He managed to get through those trust issues, right?

Then, the pride dissipated in a second.

“You need it,” Loki whispered, “and I can’t, I just can’t, Tony, I am so, so, so sorry…”

“Stop,” Tony held Loki as tightly as he could. Half-afraid that he could run away. Or fall apart.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does.”

“It doesn’t…”

“Tony. Don’t lie to me.”

That one did make Tony pause. He was not about to lose Loki, he knew that for a fact.

But did it matter?  
(It might.)  
(It probably did.)

“I kept thinking,” Loki said, “you said that I did not have to bottom. I might be able to take you in my mouth...” he trailed off. 

“I cannot lose you,” Loki whispered. 

“I love you,” Loki said.

“I love you,” Tony said.

“It does not matter,” Tony said.

“It matters less than me loving you,” Tony corrected himself.

“We’ll figure it out,” Tony promised.

And eventually, they did.

**Author's Note:**

> And eventually, I might do an actual fic out of this half-draft.  
> Feel free to message me at anxious-alice-a. Looking for roleplay partners in Russian and English.


End file.
